Have you been at a point where you think it is over? Where nothing seems to make sense and your life turns up side down? In this post, I tell you about my own personal story. It is very intimate and I tried to resume a very complex chapter of my life into a few lines. Let me know your thought in the comments! I read you!
The Energy suddenly was there, to show me the way beyond
In February 2014 I had a spontaneous Kundalini energy awakening that put me in a kind of trance space. During one whole week, I could see, feel and witness a lot of information about my life, the life of my family members, ancestors and many generations back. There were dimensions, the vastness of the Universe, the infinite dark and silent space of emptiness, Beings called angels, light beings and other. Energy showed me many things I still haven’t found words to describe but I feel them, so close and so true I can't doubt their existence. Around six months before strange things started happening, among them, a break down at the office I used to work. Today I understand, that event was a symptom of a Kundalini emergence.
Until then, I thought my own self-healing process was pretty much advanced. I had been spending my life trying to find released from many struggles like, sleeping disorders, migraines, pain body without no apparent reason, depression and PTSD symptoms. I had been in psychological therapies and tried many healing modalities. However, I had never worked directly with my deepest childhood wounds, not because I didn’t want to, but because they were hidden, forgotten deep in the subconscious ocean of memory. PTSD symptoms were obvious so I thought I had to heal those symptoms to find peace and well-being. But complex PTSD goes deeper than those bodily symptoms, it conditions all our relationships and life experiences.
However, symptoms are the starting p; without them we wouldn't think or know that we have a problem. Western medicine is based on fighting and resisting symptoms and so, I too, was going down that road for many years. But in February 2014 the energy awakening came and showed me every second of my life, I saw everything I had experienced since conception. Many suppressed childhood memories and events came back to me in an explosive manner (flash backs). However, while I was on the trance-like state generated by the energy, I was detached of my “personality” and therefore from suffering. I could bear witness to everything with emotional distance and detachment. Apart from those memories, the energy showed me also beautiful and marvelous things. I was truly amazed by the beauty and inexplicable dimensions opening in front of my inner eye. After one week the trance state "left me" and I was again the person, attached to my conditioned mind. I then entered into an existential crisis. I could feel all the pain and suffering of my inner child while, at the same time, from my higher-self perspective which i could meet during the trace, I knew I wasn’t that suffering. I knew I was the expansive, the other version I was in during the trance-like state of the energy.
Deep inside, I knew I had to heal my conditioned-self in order to transcend all that pain. It was impossible for me to continue living the way I was until then.
Somehow, the energy experience gave me so much strength and deepest knowing, I still can’t describe, but from that experience on, I couldn’t make any compromise inside me. The decision was made inside me, I had to find peace with my life story and heal my conditioned mind, my pain body and my broken heart.
From there on, the real work, what I call today "The Process" started: The healing of my emotional childhood wounds and the integration work of all the teachings I had learnt before and through the energy. It took me around two and half years; Full time! to transcend all that suffering while at the same time, I was being directed to find peace and cultivate inner resources of my True-Self.
Although, I was devastated in 2014, I know today, THAT was the best thing could ever happen to me. It did destroy the “safe life” build on sand I had, and gave me the chance to build a new life based on truth and real love. I am happy and satisfied of what and who I am today.
As for The Process, it was very chaotic and messy, because conventional medicine, or even psychology as it is mostly practiced, have no tools to deal with the spiritual and energy dimensions of Being. I am grateful I had the support of a system but the real process and work that helped me to heal came from spiritual teachers, books, and practices which aren’t really included or considere in the western medicine and psychology systems.
To heal myself was a very deep process that was also very hard and difficult, AND at the same time, the most rewarding and beautiful path of Love.
It gave me back the promised paradise of life. I went on to start a completely new life.
Before Feb. 2014, I was working internationally for some big European institutions in the areas of Business Intelligence. I left that all to start completely new. I first studied Systemic Coaching and was able to work with it in the corporate context while I was studying to gain the License to practice psychotherapy and trauma therapy in Germany. Since 2018 I am traveling between Costa Rica, Mexico, Germany and Spain.
I work with groups offering spaces where each one can experience glimpses of transcendence, where the seeds of transformation are planted and where participants can experience themselves in their true essence, so that they too continue walking their own process of self-healing.
The energy never left, only the intensity of it. End of 2016 I had again a strong energy activation, only this time I had the grounding needed to contain such deep experience. During The Process, I visited many teachers to learn more about energetic processes. I found a practice that brings this energy very close to how I experienced it back in 2014 and 2016. I learnt that practice rooted in the Babaylan shamanic tradition of Philippines with two renowned teachers and have now worked with hundreds of people in Europe and Latin America. My life purpose came with all this story, I now serve the LOVE & TRUTH within every one of us with my whole life and everything I have.
My mission is to help you reconnect with your truth! By providing safe spaces in form of workshops, retreat-like trainings and shared integration circles where you can surrender to the healer inside you from different dimensions: the cognitive, the bodily and energetic one, so that you too transcend your suffering while transforming your life into something beautiful and meaningful.
Are you ready?
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